Daddy's Dating Rules
by Lady Kami of Dreams
Summary: It's every boys nightmare to be dating the daughter of an impossibly over protective, overbearing father. But if that particular father is Sesshomaru... perhaps we should pray for the poor boy...
1. Rule One

These rules are taken from the iternet from something called '8 rules to Dating my Teenage Daughter.' I might fiddle with them and make 10... haven't quite decided yet :D

Anyway on with the show...

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**Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

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Friday Night : First Date

Sesshomaru sat in the lounge reading a book. He was glad it was the end of the week. Friday marked the time where he could let his hair down and forget about the busy schedule of work. As CEO of the leading exporting company in Australia he was a busy busy man and Fridays marked the start of a long tradition of weekend activities with his precious daughter. Friday's he would usually come home, cook a wonderful home-made dinner and watch a movie with his beautiful Rin.

Tonight though, his routine was to be thrown out the window.

Rin was going on a _date_.

With a _boy_.

A teenage, hormonal, penis wielding _boy_.

Sesshomaru shivered.

Rin was 16, barely out of nappies. She should be at home watching movies, learning self defence, playing scrabble and learning about the horrors of adolescent, teenage pregnancies and what vile creatures _boys_ are.

But no.

Tonight she was going to be prancing around the town, talking to this _boy_. He was probably going to fill her head with all sorts of nonsense; wanting her to wear a shorter skirt and a push up bra. Heck, Sesshomaru was sure that this _boy_ would even try to hold her hand.

Sesshomaru growled to himself. If the _boy_ tried to kiss her...

A car pulled into the Taisho houses' drive-way and a horn sounded; once, twice, thrice.

He could hear Rin running around upstairs and he raced to the door way as she bounded down them.

"Bye daddy." Rin chirped as she pecked him on the cheek, but he ensnared her wrist before she could exit.

"That..._boy..."_ he sneered.

"Will come to the door to retrieve you." Sesshomaru straightened up as Rin pouted.

"You are not some package to be picked up on his demand and delivered when he is done." Sesshomaru too, crossed his arms and father and daughter waged a silent pouting contest. Moments passed and Sesshomaru heard the engine turn off, a slam of a car door and the crunching of the gravel under foot.

"Be nice daddy." Rin warned as the door bell rang and Sesshomaru turned to answer it with a sadistic smile.

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Well thats chapter one. You will get one chapter a week, this is just a side thing while I get more inspiration for my other fic Sign Language. Lacking a bit of inspiration there... but hopefully after this... I'll be all good again :D

*Hugs*

~ Lady D. xxxxxxxxxxxxx


	2. Rule Two

Disclaimer: I do now own InuYasha nor any associated characters.

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**Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

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Friday Night: First Date cont.

The _boy_ stood with a big goofy grin on his face as he took in Rin's appearance and without acknowledging Sesshomaru, moved past him and draped a lazy arm around Rin's shoulder.

"Hey babe." He greeted and Sesshomaru had to use every ounce of self control not to put his hands around the _boy's_ throat and squeeze very tightly; preferably until his face was nice and blue and his flailing had ceased because he was very much _dead_.

Sesshomaru cleared his throat and seemingly for the first time the _boy_ looked at him and smiled a cheeky smile.

"Hi." He greeted cheerfully as he and Rin moved towards the door. Sesshomaru once again moved to block his escape.

"I'm Hisoka. Nice to meet ya sir." The _boy_ nodded before trying to side step Sesshomaru's blockade. Sesshomaru growled and took in the position of the _boy's_ hand and what _exactly_ Rin was wearing.

A nice short sleeve blouse, white with pretty violets painting an appealing pattern around the hem and neckline with black jeans and thongs.

"Hnnn."

The top was the wrong colour and too revealing. The _boy_ might get ideas. Though it was summer, one never could really predict the weather. If it were to rain, a white shirt has such high possibilities of turning see through, and because the sleeves were only elbow length and the neckline dangerously close to showing her collarbones, Sesshomaru was having heart palpitations. Showing excess skin is like showing a lion a sweet juicy piece of meat.

The _boy_ would definitely get the wrong idea.

Rin's black skinny jeans were plain inappropriate. If she were to bend over, then not only would the _boy_ be exposed to the sight of her bottom, but he could possibly cop and eyeful of skin. Why did the universe invent hipsters? Oh thats right; to torture fathers. But it was not Rin's jeans that truly sent chills down Sesshomaru's spine; what if Rin were to be wearing some of that lace she cared to call under-wear...

Sesshomaru really needed a strong scotch and a sit down.

Not saying a word, instead grabbing the _boy_'s hand and removing it from his daughter's person, Sesshomaru bade the pair a good night. He did however give the _boy_ one final message and watched satisfied as he gulped loudly and visibly cringed.

"You see that little girl right there?" Sesshomaru said in an ominous tone.

"She's my only little girl. She is my life. So if you have any thoughts about hugging, kissing, or touching in any way shape or form you remember these words: I've got **no** problem going to prison."

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I don't know who to feel sorry for Rin or Hisoka. If my dad were like that seesh! Haha anyway to answer a couple questions. This is obviously an AU and it is set in Contemporary Australia. Sesshomaru is human.

I updated a day early :D I am sure you dont mind :D Hope you enjoyed it. Oh and I am sorry for not replying to reviews. I swear I will this time^_^

*Hugs*

~ Lady D. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	3. Rule Three

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated charaters.

* * *

**Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule Three: Second date

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."

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Saturday Night: Second Date

Sesshomaru had to admit, though he very much hated to, but the _boy_ had been a tad more respectful towards him.

They both stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Rin to come down. Sesshomaru was curious as to what the pair did together but he dared not asked for fear of facing Rin's wrath.

He knew in time that she would come to him and spill the beans. She was such an open and talkative person; she couldn't keep anything from him.

Sesshomaru decided that Rin could last perhaps another week without telling him anything and everything, but that was too long for his curiosity.

"Where do you intend on taking my daughter tonight?" Sesshomaru said in a dead pan voice. He did not want to sound like he cared.

The boy smiled broadly.

"We are going to a dance." Sesshomaru's heart stopped briefly.

"Its going to be great." Prattled Hisoka.

"There is this new DJ in town and Rin and I absolutely adore him." Sesshomaru frowned more, not listening to the boy as he talked about useless nonsense. Dancing involved lots of the opposite sex. It also involved lots of bodies in close proximities, holding, touching, grinding... _groping_. Sesshomaru had to stifle a choke as he simultaneously inhaled and swallowed.

"What time are you expected home?" He said in a very quiet voice and Hisoka's smile faded as he saw the dark look in Mr. Taisho's eyes. Hisoka looked at his watch, it was 6:30 pm.

"10:30." He said almost turning it into a question.

"That's late." Sesshomaru said with such finality it dared the _boy_ to argue. Hisoka heaved a silent sigh.

"She will be here by 9 o'clock." Hisoka said slumping his shoulders and kicking at the shiny floorboards. Sesshomaru, glad to see the boy willing to abide by his rules, turned on his heel.

"I will see you at 8." And feeling slightly better went to move his clock from the kitchen to the lounge where he could keep a keen eye on the time while he watched for the return of his daughter.

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Well here ya go guys. I hope this lives up to expectations. ^_^ I'm looking at the next couple rules and thinking 'how in the world am I going to make these funny?' Haha... have no fear though... They shall be good... and hopefully Sesshomaru doesn't chase poor Hisoka away :D

*Hugs*

~Lady D. xxxxx


	4. Rule Four

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated characters.

**

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****Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule Four:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

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Saturday Night: Third Date

For a third weekend in a row Sesshomaru's routine with his daughter was interrupted by a _date_.

With that _boy_.

Once again he heard the tell tale car engine stop and the slamming of the door.

"Hey babe. It's me." The _boy_ yelled as he knocked roughly on the door. Sesshomaru could hear Rin running around frantically trying to get ready upstairs. He got up to address the evil incubus waiting for _his daughter_ at _his_ door.

Opening the door as threateningly as he could Sesshomaru stared at the _boy_, contempt leaked into his usually indifferent features. The _boy_ looked like a local gangster and Sesshomaru suddenly came to regret his decision to live centrally. A remote little cottage with plenty of sparse fields, lots of dirt to hide evidence under and no neighbours sounded idealistic; especially when Sesshomaru read the boys t-shirt.

_The only mark you've made in my life is in my underwear._

Sesshomaru stepped out onto the veranda with the boy, their faces inches apart.

"I own an colt anaconda 44 magnum and a sawn off shot-gun." Sesshomaru's eyebrows rose as the boy gulped and stepped back. "_You_ may think it's cool to wear trendy clothes that have _'funny'_ sayings. But I do not." Hisoka took another step back as Sesshomaru stalked towards him.

"If I ever read another derogative something worn or written by you, I will go get my gun – " Sesshomaru was cut off by the sweet voice of his angel.

Standing up straight Sesshomaru gave a death glare, Hisoka being lucky the term 'if looks could kill' was just a proverb; he was sure to die a slow and agonising death otherwise.

As Rin kissed her fathers cheek and stood at Hisoka's side, Sesshomaru's eyes never left the poor boy as he said his farewells to his daughter.

"I'm watching." He mouthed as he hugged Rin again before singing sweetly,"I'll be waiting."

Rin waved happily and Hisoka turned and practically ran to his car. Sesshomaru could not help but notice the rest of the _boys_ dress sense.

His pants.

The pants that kept the dreaded penis _covered_ and _away_ from his daughter were practically around the _boys_ ankles.

Sitting just below the _boys_ cheeks Sesshomaru wondered how on earth they were not falling down. A tightly wound belt seemed to be the only savour as the cuffs of the already ripped and ridiculously baggy jeans scuffed the pebbles in the drive.

Sesshomaru growled loudly and Hisoka was lucky enough that his girlfriend's father couldn't translate what the back of his boxers said.

_Imma tap me some tonight..._

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Ok I am soooo sorry I haven't updated this weekly like I said I would. I'll be honest and go ahead and so I have been so busy I compleyely forgot. But I shall post another two tomorrow and the day after until I am up to where I should be ^_^ I struggled with this chapter... I do hope its alright!

*Hugs*

~ Lady D. xxxx


	5. Rule Five

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated characters.

* * *

**Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule Five: Fourth Date

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Wednesday night: Fourth Date

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"Mr. Taisho. Hello." Hisoka's voice nervously talked into the phone.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Is Rin available?" Hisoka asked, sounding as if he wanted to run away, even though he wasn't even in the same vicinity as the over-protective father. Sesshomaru pondered the answer for a moment. Rin was watching her favourite soap, Home and Away, he really didn't think she wanted or needed to be interrupted.

"No."

"Ohh umm..."

"What do you want?" Demanded Sesshomaru.

"Well... I was wondering where she wanted to go Wednesday? I was thinking about a movie." Sesshomaru smirked. This was his chance.

"Not the movies, unless it's for Saw 6." Rin hated horror movies, Romantic comedies were her favourite.

"Well that's kind of violent..." Hisoka breathed down the phone, confusion evident in his tone.

"Do you doubt my knowledge of my _daughters _taste in movies?" Sesshomaru asked in a deadly voice.

"N-No. No...What about the beach."

"Absolutely not." Hisoka frowned. He was trying to play nice, but Mr. Taisho was so difficult. He swore the last time they were in the same room, if Rin had not shown up when she did, Hisoka would be minus a limb or possibly six feet under somewhere in Mr. Taisho's back yard.

"Well where do you think is an okay place?" Inquired Hisoka timidly. Sesshomaru thought he'd never ask.

"There is a game of under 12's hockey on; Wednesday at 4:30pm. You'll be home for tea." Sesshomaru said happy with his idea. He after all didn't want her going to an adult's game of hockey, it could be a little violent; not to mention his precious angel would be exposed to hot sweaty men with shirts with no sleeves and short shorts. No, that would ne detrimental to Rin's innocence. But a child's game was perfect.

"That or you could help out at the old folk's home. It's the bi-weekly night for volunteers to help with BINGO." Sesshomaru continued thoroughly pleased with himself and when there was silence on the other end of the phone Sesshomaru smiled deviously.

"Rin _loves_ to help people." If Hisoka knew even one thing about Rin's nature, it would be exactly that. Rin loved to help people.

When Sesshomaru heard a resigned sigh, he hung up.

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As promised. Here is one of the missed updates ^_^ Hope its alright. We get one more tomorrow then we are back to the usual weekly updates :D

*Hugs*

~ Lady D. xxxx


	6. Rule Six

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any associated characters.

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**Daddy's Dating Rules**

Rule Six: Fifth Date

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

Friday Night: One Month

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Rin sat bouncing up and down on the couch waiting for Hisoka to come and get her. They had been dating for a month now and Hisoka was taking her to a nice restaurant tonight as celebration.

"One month daddy, one month."

"Great." Sesshomaru drawled facetiously.

"And it's even better because Kilala won't be in town tonight to annoy him and interrupt our night." Rin's bouncing increased.

"Kilala?" Sesshomaru's eyes snapped to his jubilous daughter.

"This girl that is in love with him. He tries his best to ignore her but gosh... she is persistent." Rin said obviously unfased by the competition.

Sesshomaru on the other hand started seething. How dare that _boy_ think he could dilly dally around whilst dating _his_ daughter. Rin was nice enough to pay attention to him in the first place and if the _boy_ and any brains – and sense of self preservation – he would drown this Kilala in a creek and very quickly get rid of her.

Sesshomaru was dead set serious when he thought his daughter was too good for the male species. He thought about _considering _a suitor when she was about 30, but only the very rich, very gentlemanly and very well educated would be considered. Never in a million years would he have picked this _boy_.

However, Rin was for the moment, happy, and Sesshomaru would not interfere... yet.

A knock on the door pulled Sesshomaru from his reverie.

Rin squealed silently and made Sesshomaru answer the door. He greeted poor Hisoka, sweaty and nervous as he addressed him.

"Hello sir. Nice to see you again." Sesshomaru only stared and said.

"If you make her cry, I will make you cry." Rin rushed past Hisoka and latched onto his arm.

"Let's go." She said and Sesshomaru watched the pair leave with fire in his eyes.

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Yeah so much for weekly updates hey... I actually forgot about this one O.O I been stressed a bit with the amount of uni I am doing... my bad! But here an update (albeit not even funny) but here it is none the less :)

~ Lady D. xxx


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